Some people think being ladylike translates to being arrogant or treating people like they mean nothing to you, no it is not. Some think it is about only dressing well, no it is not. There are other factors, like personal development, integrity, thoughtfulness towards others and whatnot.
In this blog post, I have highlighted a few, out of the numerous things an elegant lady should not identify with. They are:
1. People are not commodities
When you treat people like commodities, you hold on to them because of “what you can get from them”, and that makes them feel used. When you’re having a conversation with people, it’s wrong of you to try to dominate that conversation and then centre it around yourself. Instead, contribute and let others speak.
An example is you being at a restaurant, and you start acting rude to the waiter and downplaying him because of his role, trust me, there’s nothing ladylike about moving that way. You should to treat people in a way that suggests that you’re showing support and respect, not just using or manipulating them.
2. Social Climbing
It’s one thing to use people to get things done, and it’s another to value people because of what they’re worth. Social climbing is seen as negative because climbers reduce people’s statuses to increase theirs.
It is more ladylike to build mutually beneficial relationships and connections with people. That way, you’re both gaining. It is also not ladylike to only get attached to successful people. Are you ditching your friends, acquaintances to hang out with the influential people?
I don’t think I should be elaborating this again. In my last blog post, I gave some tips on sitting gracefully and slouching was not an option. Asides it not being ladylike, slouching is also very bad for your body as it can cause tension on your muscles. So, let’s say no to slouching.
Your lateness communicates how you do not value people’s time; it shows a lack of respect for time, and that’s not ladylike. Now I’m not encouraging you to be late, but if you’re going to be late, it’s expected that you reach out to the host to let him/her know that you’ll be late and why.
When you plan, give room for some unforeseen events that can cause you to be late. If lateness is one of your habits, I hope you’re able to get rid of it soon.
5. Don’t be glued to your phone
Our phones can be very distracting sometimes. Using your phone when you’re with someone else tells the person that you don’t care to listen, or you’re uninterested, or you’re even too busy to pay attention.
I understand it is a different world we live in, where some emails need immediate response or the deal is off, situations like this do not happen always.
I know you’re trying to keep up with your social media and whatnot, but it’s not running away. So keep your phone away for the time being and interact.
It’s okay if you’re expecting an urgent text/call, courtesy demands that you let the people around you know, that way they expect that your attention is divided.
These are a few of the basic things that we must stay away from, if we’re intentional about being more ladylike. I hope you found this useful. If you have any comments or would like to give more tips, please feel free to leave them in the comments box below.